AUDREY POETRY COLLAB
we used to weep like hope,
now we love like sadness. |
i do not feel wrong for thinking that everything is right.
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i smell like dreams and i dress like sleep.
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i am blooming from within and life is shining from without.
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i feel like a person who feels with her hands and thinks with her eyes.
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TECHNOLOGICAL SUICIDE
Suicide is an organic feeling held within the minds of nature's beings. To apply it to technology makes the idea seem foreign and absolutely demented, while people have these very thoughts about their bodies every day.
TRAPPED COLLAGE
The original idea of these collages was to have people 'trapped' in technology not as a negative effect of technology but instead the pressure people put on each other to keep up with machines, especially in education and work. What this truly turned into was humans trapped by time, and the constraint and automatic values of it.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I am not religious, but someone, after seeing my Tarot Cards, asked if I would think about doing this as a series. I almost wish I created a scene with them, which I may do if I revisit this (because I don't very much care for this, but for now, they are individual and more like "portraits" or aspects of a bigger thing than something that works together.
SEVEN DEADLY SINS
I am not religious, and I am soon going to start working on a series of paintings about my relationship with religion, but while I was doing many "typical" series, I wanted to interpret the seven deadly sins (eventually to help the future series). I treated these like Tarot Cards and Inktober, where I see the word or description and whatever comes to mind first is what my drawing is.
ZODIAC
I have never believed in the Zodiac. It has always irritated me, people judging each other based on the whims of the stars. Although they are much bigger entities, they are constantly changing and dying and as a result are not any more dependable than revolving your life around other people. Despite that, I decided in order to come to terms with my hatred for it, I should interpret it through illustration.
INKTOBER
WHY? ALPHABET
After making four alphabets, I wanted this one to be styled like nursery drawings, but instead using questionable vocabulary to teach the alphabet. These are 3x3" tiles made with watercolor.
MORBID ALPHABET
I always need things to be morbid. What else do I find funny?
OBNOXIOUS ALPHABET
There are many words in our language rendered useless due to time. People are constantly changing, and with them their slang. Phrases are swapped in favor of simpler and more relevant ones, leaving the worn and well used words inked permanently in dust covered dictionaries. These are words only unveiled for term papers or SAT preparation. Words that you may have read once in a now yellow-paged novel. This series isn’t meant to bring them back, but just to simply acknowledge their existence in our evolving language.
NAÏVE ALPHABET
I am going to college next year. I am turning eighteen in the Spring. By law, I will be an adult. Much of this year is reflection on who I am and how I got here. This series is to take a moment with my friends and family and reflect on myself as a child. Kids are innocent to outside factors. They have close to no judgements about others or themselves, having not been taught to hurt others, and because of that act without shame. These pieces are to commemorate the pride children have when they are incorrect; when they look at something and confidently shout a word that in no way reflects the item itself. Alternatively, this series also conveys what some of these words/items actually are to children. A big wheel is a child’s car, a pail is a child’s hat, etc.
TAROT CARDS
I am not a terribly spiritual person, but these cards are inherently tools to convey energy. Although these are a fairly typical series in illustrators, while working on them, people would sift through and feel some "power" in them. I'd like to think that that energy is my art's effect on people.
00 FOOL: A drunkard. Surrounds himself with poison and alcohol to avoid all.
01 MAGICIAN: A mysterious man who holds an orb of supreme power. Surrounded by salvia: a common hallucinogen to justify the "magic".
02 HIGH PRIESTESS: An all-seeing eye, as the highest woman CAN see all. The lines coming from her acts as a guideline/grid of her vision.
03 EMPRESS: One of the set of two high powers.
04 EMPEROR: The second of the set of the high powers. Symmetrical with the empress to show balance of power in gender.
05 HIEROPHANT: Hooded, sexless figure that has their hands on the universe and hovers in unidentifiable space.
06 LOVERS: Roses surround them to signify love, but prick their skin with thorns. Symmetric, and pain shows on both faces in love.
07 CHARIOT: The action part of the carriage: the force that brings it out AKA beautiful and amazing horses.
08 STRENGTH: All animals in many cultures known for strength and force held back by human hand; Earth held back by its own people.
09 HERMIT: In its own hole. Fetus position- shows they haven't moved since birth.
10 WHEEL OF FORTUNE: All beings and forces alive and dead have control of the balance of the wheel and its outcome.
11 JUSTICE: The universe has eyes, and only it can determine true justice.
12 HANGED MAN: Obvious enough.
13 DEATH: All beings participate in death, which is at the center of everything. Life revolves around death.
14 TEMPERANCE: The opposite of the fool, as abstaining from temptation is intelligence.
15 DEVIL: Floating, snake-like entity, gender unidentifiable but human-looking in order to be relatable to the evils of people.
16 TOWER: Nobody present except for a hint of force coming out of the infinite tower.
17 STAR: Clund to the stars as a part of the universe, almost bound as if on a crucifix.
18 MOON: The moon, with the same galactic background. Energy comes in.
19 SUN: The sun, with the same galactic background. Energy goes out.
20 JUDGEMENT: Two beings in an infinite void, sexless and symmetrical in order to display equality.
21 WORLD: The surface is covered with the galactic background, but covered in clouds and texture to show blindness and lack of knowledge.
My favorite is 02 HIGH PRIESTESS since it has a great amount of detail, interesting composition (with the eye in the middle but the rest of her to the side), and appropriate gold detailing. My least favorite is 17 STAR because of its lack of goldness, detail, and general spark.
GUIDELINES: All cards have similarities in theme:
- All ink, used pen nib and hatching.
- Same style
- Inktober-esq approach, first thing that came to mind is what card became.
- Kept to typical titles in Major Arcana
- Gold ink + White detailing
- Every two cards has a black banner instead of white.
- Symbolism throughout.
00 FOOL: A drunkard. Surrounds himself with poison and alcohol to avoid all.
01 MAGICIAN: A mysterious man who holds an orb of supreme power. Surrounded by salvia: a common hallucinogen to justify the "magic".
02 HIGH PRIESTESS: An all-seeing eye, as the highest woman CAN see all. The lines coming from her acts as a guideline/grid of her vision.
03 EMPRESS: One of the set of two high powers.
04 EMPEROR: The second of the set of the high powers. Symmetrical with the empress to show balance of power in gender.
05 HIEROPHANT: Hooded, sexless figure that has their hands on the universe and hovers in unidentifiable space.
06 LOVERS: Roses surround them to signify love, but prick their skin with thorns. Symmetric, and pain shows on both faces in love.
07 CHARIOT: The action part of the carriage: the force that brings it out AKA beautiful and amazing horses.
08 STRENGTH: All animals in many cultures known for strength and force held back by human hand; Earth held back by its own people.
09 HERMIT: In its own hole. Fetus position- shows they haven't moved since birth.
10 WHEEL OF FORTUNE: All beings and forces alive and dead have control of the balance of the wheel and its outcome.
11 JUSTICE: The universe has eyes, and only it can determine true justice.
12 HANGED MAN: Obvious enough.
13 DEATH: All beings participate in death, which is at the center of everything. Life revolves around death.
14 TEMPERANCE: The opposite of the fool, as abstaining from temptation is intelligence.
15 DEVIL: Floating, snake-like entity, gender unidentifiable but human-looking in order to be relatable to the evils of people.
16 TOWER: Nobody present except for a hint of force coming out of the infinite tower.
17 STAR: Clund to the stars as a part of the universe, almost bound as if on a crucifix.
18 MOON: The moon, with the same galactic background. Energy comes in.
19 SUN: The sun, with the same galactic background. Energy goes out.
20 JUDGEMENT: Two beings in an infinite void, sexless and symmetrical in order to display equality.
21 WORLD: The surface is covered with the galactic background, but covered in clouds and texture to show blindness and lack of knowledge.
My favorite is 02 HIGH PRIESTESS since it has a great amount of detail, interesting composition (with the eye in the middle but the rest of her to the side), and appropriate gold detailing. My least favorite is 17 STAR because of its lack of goldness, detail, and general spark.
GUIDELINES: All cards have similarities in theme:
- All ink, used pen nib and hatching.
- Same style
- Inktober-esq approach, first thing that came to mind is what card became.
- Kept to typical titles in Major Arcana
- Gold ink + White detailing
- Every two cards has a black banner instead of white.
- Symbolism throughout.
MENTAL BATTLES
This series of works creates a visual representation of mental ailments and obstructions that many people encounter in their daily lives. Each piece represents a different idea, whether it be a disease in general or a particular symptom. They are depicted as monsters, as a common practice in therapy is picturing your illness as a separate entity from yourself. As a visual learner myself, I use this strategy to tackle my issues. Using a distinct style that distances the viewer from the “battle”, I inconspicuously sprinkled characters, reflecting me, into the piece. I hope a potential viewer may take away this as a strategy to tackle their illness. Alternatively, this series could help people empathize with victims of mental issues, and wave the stigma surrounding them.
DEPRESSION: The venus flytrap is the first monster in the series. As in all the other pieces, there are many Fayes fighting the plant, but the most in this one as it is my most active disorder. I pictured this one as a battle where the flytrap takes over your head by "biting your head off", since depression overtakes and kills your brain and numbs your body.
ANXIETY: Similarly to the depression piece, there are many frantic Faye soldiers since this is another present illness is my daily life. The beast is a large kraken and takes an entire side of the piece to exaggerate its effect. SInce it is a squid monster, it squeezes the life out of you, simulating the sickening feeling anxiety gives its victims. I started to explore color in this piece since I had not previously used tube watercolor often. In the rocks, I started encouraging a mixture of many colors to create a magical and whimsical effect. The waves show my meticulous insistence on detail and the tightness of my style at the beginning of the series.
APATHY: This piece is another good example of my experiments with color and texture, especially considering its large format. I had started becoming looser with my lines and drawing without a general guide or sketch underneath. The monster here is not the mass of spirits coming from the ravine, but instead the "mysterious power" of the hand that represents obstacles people make for themselves.
INSOMNIA: This was the last in the initial series of battles. Although the monster is not very clear, the lack of healthy soldiers is what shows the true enemy: the surrounding and ever growing fungi.
EATING DISORDER: Not only are these teethed grubs, which already indicate soiled food, but they also look like intestines. This one is most renowned for its "fairytale" aspect, as the colors make is fantastical and cutesy despite its representation of a deadly disease. I focused a lot of line weight since that was the best way to enforce the power and general feel of the grubs.
SELF HARM: This was the toughest monster to come up with. This was my big return to the series and I was hung up on this piece for a while, which is why it is such a stark contrast to the other pieces. The colors are extremely heavy and dark since my only association with self harm is panic, fire alarm red, sirens- anything that was so loud that it became numb. Along with that, the theme of this one was tempting sharpness.
GRIEF: Grief is a slow, cold, and isolating being, which is why it became giant goop monster in a plain purple icy tundra. Thus was a great exploration in contrasting color and messing with pallets. I wanted the goop to look gross and heavy, therefore I used deep and large lines and a strange mixture of complimentary colors.
OVERSTIMULATION: The only way to describe panic attacks, which are a result of overstimulation, is helplessness, and the feeling that the simplest thing can send you in a jittery spiral. This one is my favorite not only because of the colors but because of the texture of the fur created with thick and heavy watercolor strokes.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Being cornered by everything that can kill you. I don't like this piece because although it is loose and a great example of evolution in my style, it has too many distracting textures that take away from the details and idea itself. Emotional abuse is a great amount of things that slither around you until they eventually all constrict you at once.
MENTAL FILTER: As the final one, I love that, again, I did not rely on hard lines to convey light and texture and instead used thick strokes of color. The color and texture in the bugs was not planned, but ended up being exactly what suited them. This one is about automatic thoughts which swarm, like bugs, and launch someone into a self destructive panic. A mental filter is a technique used to stop that swarm, but sometimes the thoughts are so attracted to anything positive (like the lanterns) that they ruin anything good that happens.
GUIDELINES: All pieces in this series followed a set of guidelines to unify them:
- Microns, watercolors, white acrylic used
- ALL 20"x30"
- Watercolor creates simialr texture and colors (like rainbow)
- White accents
- Same "cartoon-esq" style
- Primal battle inspired: Monster huge and on one side v. tiny Fayes on other side
DEPRESSION: The venus flytrap is the first monster in the series. As in all the other pieces, there are many Fayes fighting the plant, but the most in this one as it is my most active disorder. I pictured this one as a battle where the flytrap takes over your head by "biting your head off", since depression overtakes and kills your brain and numbs your body.
ANXIETY: Similarly to the depression piece, there are many frantic Faye soldiers since this is another present illness is my daily life. The beast is a large kraken and takes an entire side of the piece to exaggerate its effect. SInce it is a squid monster, it squeezes the life out of you, simulating the sickening feeling anxiety gives its victims. I started to explore color in this piece since I had not previously used tube watercolor often. In the rocks, I started encouraging a mixture of many colors to create a magical and whimsical effect. The waves show my meticulous insistence on detail and the tightness of my style at the beginning of the series.
APATHY: This piece is another good example of my experiments with color and texture, especially considering its large format. I had started becoming looser with my lines and drawing without a general guide or sketch underneath. The monster here is not the mass of spirits coming from the ravine, but instead the "mysterious power" of the hand that represents obstacles people make for themselves.
INSOMNIA: This was the last in the initial series of battles. Although the monster is not very clear, the lack of healthy soldiers is what shows the true enemy: the surrounding and ever growing fungi.
EATING DISORDER: Not only are these teethed grubs, which already indicate soiled food, but they also look like intestines. This one is most renowned for its "fairytale" aspect, as the colors make is fantastical and cutesy despite its representation of a deadly disease. I focused a lot of line weight since that was the best way to enforce the power and general feel of the grubs.
SELF HARM: This was the toughest monster to come up with. This was my big return to the series and I was hung up on this piece for a while, which is why it is such a stark contrast to the other pieces. The colors are extremely heavy and dark since my only association with self harm is panic, fire alarm red, sirens- anything that was so loud that it became numb. Along with that, the theme of this one was tempting sharpness.
GRIEF: Grief is a slow, cold, and isolating being, which is why it became giant goop monster in a plain purple icy tundra. Thus was a great exploration in contrasting color and messing with pallets. I wanted the goop to look gross and heavy, therefore I used deep and large lines and a strange mixture of complimentary colors.
OVERSTIMULATION: The only way to describe panic attacks, which are a result of overstimulation, is helplessness, and the feeling that the simplest thing can send you in a jittery spiral. This one is my favorite not only because of the colors but because of the texture of the fur created with thick and heavy watercolor strokes.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Being cornered by everything that can kill you. I don't like this piece because although it is loose and a great example of evolution in my style, it has too many distracting textures that take away from the details and idea itself. Emotional abuse is a great amount of things that slither around you until they eventually all constrict you at once.
MENTAL FILTER: As the final one, I love that, again, I did not rely on hard lines to convey light and texture and instead used thick strokes of color. The color and texture in the bugs was not planned, but ended up being exactly what suited them. This one is about automatic thoughts which swarm, like bugs, and launch someone into a self destructive panic. A mental filter is a technique used to stop that swarm, but sometimes the thoughts are so attracted to anything positive (like the lanterns) that they ruin anything good that happens.
GUIDELINES: All pieces in this series followed a set of guidelines to unify them:
- Microns, watercolors, white acrylic used
- ALL 20"x30"
- Watercolor creates simialr texture and colors (like rainbow)
- White accents
- Same "cartoon-esq" style
- Primal battle inspired: Monster huge and on one side v. tiny Fayes on other side
PORTFOLIO
BREADTH
COMPOSITION
LIGHT AND SHADE
LINE QUALITY
MARK MAKING
RENDERING A FORM
SURFACE MANIPULATION
ILLUSION OF DEPTH